Get Your Life Together!
WHERE ARE YOU NOW?
Before you can figure out where it is that you want to be with your life, you need to take a good, hard look at where you are right now. No matter how mundane or desperate your life may seem at the present time, you can’t hope to set some realistic goals for improvement if you aren’t honest with yourself about your current situation and what led you to be in this situation.
EMOTIONALLY
What is your personality type? Most people can be classified into some type of personality type. Are you introverted? Are you extroverted? If you have never taken a personality test before, you may want to try a simple one to at least get some sort of idea of where you land on the personality scale. Many psychologists, sociologists, and other experts argue the question as to whether personality can be changed, but the reasoning behind finding out your personality type is to essentially know what you're working with. If you find that you are basically an introverted type of person, meaning you get more energy from spending time alone than you do from spending time with other people, then you can set your goals accordingly. An extroverted person who is setting a goal to spend more time at home, or an introverted person who is setting a goal to go to more parties, may find they have set themselves up for failure.
What are your personal relationships like? Important personal relationships in your life do not have to be confined to romantic relationships. Sometimes the relationship you have with close friends, family, and even the person who works in the cubicle next to you at work, can have a huge influence on your well-being. Of course, your romantic relationships often have the potential to bring out the most emotion, but that isn’t to say that other close relationships in your life won’t affect you greatly as well. When you are examining the relationships in your life, you should look at every relationship you have, not just that of the relationship with your spouse or significant other.
What do people say about you? This isn't to say that you need to take stock in every little thing someone says about you. You certainly do not want to live your life according to what everyone says about you; that is a recipe for disaster. You want to consider, however, what the people who know you best are saying. If your loved ones are constantly approaching you, concerned about your emotional health, then you should take notice of their concerns. Sometimes the people who are close to us can see things that we ourselves cannot. A sudden change in demeanor can be a good indicator of some issues that need to be resolved, but there are times when a person cannot notice their own behavior change. So although you shouldn't necessarily pay much mind to what the person on the subway says to you, there could be some validity to what the people close to you say. If your spouse tells you that you need to seek anger management classes, chances are you need to do so. If your family sits you down for a heart-to-heart about your lack of ambition, there is a good chance you should take what they say to heart. It's one thing if the people who approach you with their concerns have always criticized you and seem to be out to harm you instead of help you, but if someone who genuinely cares for you has something to say about your emotional well being, then you need to swallow your pride and listen to what they are saying.
Are you happy? Really, are you? It is one thing to be blatantly elated with your life, it's another to be merely content, and it is another thing entirely to be miserable. You should analyze your current life to figure out if you are indeed happy or if you are instead simply going through the motions because that's just what you are used to doing. When you do make the determination as to whether you are happy or not, you can start working on what you need to do to make yourself happier. There is always room for a little more joy in your life; it's your job to figure out how to get your hands on some.
Have you reached a point where you need help? Do you ever find yourself really feeling as though you may simply not be able to handle everything on your own anymore? Some people get the distinct feeling as though their lives have spiraled out of control. You need to figure out if you have reached a stage in your life when you may need to seek the assistance of someone who is trained to help in situations that may seem unmanageable to you, whether that’s a life coach, a therapist, or even a psychiatrist. Not everyone needs this sort of help, but there is nothing wrong with getting help when it’s needed.
Medication is sometimes in order for emotional disorders. When you seek professional help for emotional problems, a prudent professional will first try every means possible to assist you without putting you on some sort of behavior-modifying medication. Therapy often involves simply chatting with a therapist or counselor in the hopes that you will have a big enough breakthrough or at least learn some coping strategies that will help you get your emotional life under control. If you have a behavioral professional who immediately tries to scribble a prescription for an anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication without really taking the time to get to know you, it may be time to find a different professional. Medications for emotional problems should not be handed out like candy, and any professional who relies on this sort of thing as a knee-jerk reaction is not a very competent professional. There may come a time, however, when after a few sessions it becomes obvious to both you and your therapist that you may need a little extra help with your emotional dealings, and at this time you might discuss the possibilities of some prescription medications. And whether they are to be considered a short or long term solution to your problems. Furthermore, you should only accept medication after you have thoroughly discussed not only the dosage instructions and possible side effects of the medication, but also after completely understanding what your therapist expects the medication to do for you and how long the therapist anticipates you will need the medication. Your therapist should periodically check on your progress while you are taking the medication as well, since many people react differently to medications. If the pills cause you to start feeling "weird" or "off" you should discuss this with the professional that prescribed them to you because the dosage may need to be reevaluated. Above all else, realize that there is absolutely no shame in needing some medicinal intervention in order to get your emotional life on track. You are certainly not the only person around who is in this position. If so many people did not need these sorts of medications, they would not be so readily available. You should merely consider your medication as a tool to assist you in your efforts in creating a better life.
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